February 22, 2010
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Have Another Drink, Sally
About a year ago…“You got kids, right?” she slurred to me.
“Nah,” I said, trying not to gag. Her breath smelled like rum and puke.
“I got three,” she said. I was relieved that we weren’t going into my childless situation.
Before I could congratulate her, she added, “Yeah. I don’t have custody, though.”
Out of nowhere, she pulled up a joint and sparked it. Holding in the smoke, she told me, “Fuckin’ ex has ‘em. Said I’m a bad mother.” She choked out her hit. “You believe that shit?”
Yes. Yes, I do.
She pushed the joint toward me. I held up my hands, kind of like I was being robbed. “No, thank you,” I said, and began to make my way toward the ladies’ room door. This is just ugly.
She sniffed, “You? Not smokin’?” She drew in another hit.
I sighed and repeated, “No, thank you.” My hand was on the door handle.
“You? But you’re like… Miss Party Girl!”
I was annoyed. “That was like, twenty years ago,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.
She laughed and choked. “Well, I’m not stoppin’!”
I managed a grin. “Cool beans for you, Sally.” I left.
I went out to my car and cried.
I can’t have a baby. She can have three… and have them taken away from her… and there she is, still partying like it’s nineteen-eighty-nine.
These are the times it bothers me most, not being called to motherhood. Some people treat it like it’s nothing to have a child (or three), and it is nothing to abuse that gift. It makes me angry and jealous.
It took me a few minutes, but I stopped crying; I blew my nose and fixed my face. I’m just called to do something else, I thought. It’s okay.
I said a little prayer and started the car. On my way home, I thought, well, at least she didn’t feel sorry for me and offer advice.
Imagine?
Comments (18)
Wow. This is powerful. My heart goes out to you.
It is sort of sad that someone so undeserving of having kids can pop them out like there is no tomorrow while others can’t.
I greatly fear that I’m going to be one of the unlucky ones that can’t have kids…
I gave a baby up for adoption at 17 to the most deserving couple I have ever met that couldn’t have children of their own. It made me appreciate my babies even more when I had them years later. My two children are a gift and i make sure they know that every day in honor of the woman much more deserving than me that can’t have children.
It always tugs at my heart when I hear parents being mean to their kids in the grocery store, or watch the neighborhood kids run wild in the streets unsupervised. A number of my friends are unable to have children and they would make the most awesome parents. I don’t understand the logic that allows this in the universe, but I gotta say, it kind of pisses me off, ya know?
Too many Sallys in this world, luv.
mmmmmhhmmm.
thanks.
(((HUGS)))… It always kind of makes me sick when I see or know of parents that mistreat their kids or neglect them… Glad she didn’t give you any advice. If she would have she seriously needed punched. peace & love to you
That’s got to be hard. It doesn’t seem fair in instances like those for one woman to not be able to bare children, while another woman seemingly abuses it.
Life is just not fair CB. You’d make an awesome mother.
Sadly, there is no qualifications test to be a mother.
That’s usually how it goes… sad.
Ugh. I hope the ex takes good care of them at least.
I feel you, I’ve been feeling this way, but mine is more different…
and i’ve been put in a situation so similar. its a bit unfair how things turn out. But i suppose we are to do something else.
totally not fair, you are right.
Ugh, I hate to hear about mothers like that. Sounds much like my little sister. Unfair and sometimes that little child doesn’t end up with someone deserving.
moments like that it would be great to have some booming voice from the heavens give a reasonable explanation….. – for the kids’ sake, yours and hers.