July 26, 2008

• Starbucks: Who Cares?

  I heard that Starbucks is closing 600 of their stores.

  Who cares? Their coffee always tastes like it has been sitting there for 2 weeks, burning.

  Their sandwiches taste like they have been cooked, frozen, thawed and reheated via microwave 30 times already.

  Their muffins have the texture of foam packing peanuts smooshed together.

  They give their items (even the sizes of the items) Italian names… it all comes off so pretentious.

  The people who hang out there act like they are cool because they are hanging out there. I have news for those people: You just paid four dollars for a cup of burnt coffee, and you think you are cool because of it!

  I wish they would close all of their stores so I would not have to smell the burning coffee every few blocks.

  Good coffee is called COFFEE. You can order a large, medium or small. You can order “regular” and know that you will be getting cream and two sugars; you can say “light and sweet” and know you will be getting extra cream and sugar; you can say “black”, and know that nothing will be in your cup but pure coffee. Good coffee is FRESH… it isn’t sitting on a burner for 12 hours. It doesn’t have snobby names… it’s just called COFFEE.

  A “panini” is a sandwich.

  A muffin is moist and delicious.

  Saying “venti no-fat soy mocha decaf with cinnamon sprinkles” doesn’t make you sound cool. It makes you sound like an ass.

  Get a real coffee.

  • 8:03 am
  • 3 Comments