July 26, 2008

• Why Sam Hates the Bank

  Sam’s experiences at the bank have not all been bad, but most of them have left him feeling like maybe he should start keeping his money in his kitty mattress. He asked me to share his list:

  1. They treat me like a second class citizen because I have fur and four paws. Like that means I don’t understand banking.

  2. They never approve my loan. Just because I don’t “work steadily” they don’t consider me a … “good risk”. I believe that they are in part responsible for keeping The Kitty down.

  3. They always want two forms of I.D. Like my driver’s license isn’t enough. I mean, it’s got my picture on it and everything. And where am I supposed to carry a wallet?

  4. Whenever I have a problem with my accounts, it doesn’t matter how much paperwork I have to prove that it is their fault… it sucks to be me.

  5. They always talk to my mommy instead of me. They are MY accounts, with MY money in them. Just because she is the human doesn’t mean she has anything to do with MY accounts… racist, fascist bastards…

  6. They always give me that goofy look when they see that my signature is a paw print. What do they expect? I don’t have thumbs, dammit. How am I supposed to hold a pen?

  7. Why do they put the ATMs up so high?

  8. They never have the swordfish-flavoured lollipops that I like.

  • 7:18 am
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